It’s no secret that David Axelrod has harshly taken his mustache away from us, and it doesn’t look likely it’s going to return anytime soon. I know I’m not the only only in disarray about this – all over the land, women have been distraught about Axeldaddy’s decision to remove the lip warmer that was designed by the Gods.
I don’t know why he made the rash decision to shave it permanently – I know it was for a good cause at first, but it’s been years now and David still hasn’t grown the mustache back. There are night where I get little sleep, because I’m still wondering why my favorite mustached man hasn’t grown his signature ‘stache back.
If you can see this David, then I’m begging you – please consider growing the mustache back. We need this from you. You just haven’t been the same man since that day, and your fans are desperately waiting for the return of your former self.
I listen to the Axe Files all the time. I’m a big fan. But I just have to say that you’re not the same man that you used to be. Come back David – please come back. Just because Barack isn’t around anymore, doesn’t mean you have to abandon us too.
Three reasons why I love David Axelrod;
- He’s Honest – No matter if you don’t agree with some of David’s opinions, you can never deny that he is as honest as they come. A truly gem amongst the rocks that you find with most politicians.
- He’s hardworking – Axeldaddy is never afraid to work hard to achieve his goals, making him a true inspiration to those of us who are young and impressionable.
- His grooming – It’s not secret that Axelrod’s glorious mustache attracts millions of female followers around the globe. There’s no denying that David has the best mustache around, because he’s always super well groomed.
Here I lay, waiting patiently for my favorite politician of all time – Mr David Axelrod – to please heed my call and grow back that glorious mustache. David – you only get one chance to live in this world. Please, please – don’t make the mistake of living it without your mustache. It would be a tragedy that cannot be fixed.